When Seniors Say "NO" to Help

A family caregiver’s job, by definition, is already a difficult one.  Time away from work and family, and the worry of caring for a senior adult take a toll.  But when you consider that many seniors often resist help, that job becomes overwhelming.

A study of family caregivers conducted for the Home Instead Senior Care^® network revealed that 51 percent said that their aging relative was very resistant to care.  These seniors often object to help whether it’s from a family caregiver or a professional.  This is a real problem for family caregivers worried about the safety of a senior loved one. 

Resistance is at the root of many senior-care issues.  Why?  If seniors admit they need help, they feel their independence is in question.  They believe once they acknowledge they need help, they’ll lose control of their affairs.  They are trying to maintain dignity.  Unless they feel they can trust someone, they resist change.  It’s the fear that life as they’ve known it will be taken away from them.

Most caregivers can go into “crisis mode” to rally around a loved one in the short-term, but they can't be totally immersed in crisis mode long-term without their own family, work and health suffering according to family caregiving consultant Dr. Amy D’Aprix, author of From Surviving to Thriving: Transforming Your Caregiving Experience.

The strain can take a particular toll on working family caregivers.  The Home Instead study revealed 42 percent of family caregivers spend 30+ hours a week- the equivalent of a second full-time job- caregiving. Their own personal health and job were affected with 58 percent getting ill more frequently.  Furthermore, 81 percent say their loved ones’ needs are becoming overwhelming compared with 73 percent who thought so just four years earlier. 

These strategies may lessen resistance:

1.   Understand the source of the resistance. 

2.  Explain your goals.  Reassure them you have the same goal of keeping them at home longer while giving you both peace of mind.

 

3.  If necessary bring in professional help, such as a geriatric care manager.

4.  Research local options. The book Stagesof Senior Care: Your Step-by-Step Guide to Making the Best Decisions by Paul and Lori Hogan is a great resource for options.

5.  Respect a senior’s decisions.  Unless they have dementia, they have a right to make the final decision about care, even if a family caregiver or professional doesn’t agree. 

The battle to turn resistance into assistance can be fierce.  Education can help arm family caregivers with the tools they need.  Materials and videos on Caring for Your Parents: Education for the Family Caregiver^SM are available at www.caregiverstress.com.

Loneliness, Economy Challenge Seniors This Holiday

Perplexed about what to get the senior in your life this holiday season? That older adult on your shopping list may well be facing two challenges: the economy that has seniors looking for basic items they can no longer afford and the loneliness that many seniors encounter because families may not be able to visit.

Many seniors, including those in care communities, could have no one to visit them during the holidays this year as families cut travel expenses and treasured family time. So the most valuable gift is companionship.

That's why the Home Instead Senior Care^® network has developed a gift guide of presents that seniors may not be able to afford, but that can bring families together. Following are several suggestions:

1. A newspaper subscription - Some of your senior loved one's fondest memories could revolve around life at the dinner table discussing the day's events. A subscription to a daily newspaper can help them continue that tradition with you.
2. DVD player and favorite DVDs - A DVD player will help your older adult enjoy their favorite old movies. But it will be much more special if you bring the popcorn and make a night of it.
3. Tickets to a sporting event or play - What better treat than tickets for your senior loved one and the rest of the family to attend a play or favorite team event?
4. Scenic train or boat trip - Many communities have day excursions - such as scenic train or boat trips - which can serve as great incentives for seniors to get out and about.
5. A calendar - Create a calendar with activities that are going on in your family's life so a senior can feel a part of them. Check online; there are many resources for personalizing calendars with family photos. 

If you're looking for other gift ideas, consider the Homemade Memories Cookbook, which features family recipes and stories. Proceeds benefit the nonprofit Home Instead Senior Care Foundation. If you can't be there with an older loved one, remember that the next best thing is the gift of companionship services. Call Home Instead Senior Care of Savannah today at 912-355-0099 or outside the Savannah area at 877-855-0098 for more information.

What’s In Your Cabinet?

Do you have only one physician?  Probablynot.  You may have a primary physician, a cardiologist, an orthopedist, a urologist, a neurologist, all of whom prescribed meds. Or perhaps you became ill on vacation and visited an emergency medical outpatient center where you received yet another prescription. Most likely all of your prescriptions were not filled at the same pharmacy. For example, you may be taking three medications with different names and strengths for pain, not realizing they all do the same thing. Who oversees all these medications and knows their interactions? Your pharmacist - if you go to only one pharmacy.

To save money, always ask your pharmacist if an over-the-counter, generic or alternative drug is available. Some drug manufacturers have a prescription drug and a lesser strength over-the-counter drug.  For example, Clarinex (X30) is approximately $127.70 while Claritin (x30) sells for approx. $7.46.  If you cannot afford a medication, there may be a pharmaceutical program to help you.

Ask your pharmacist to do a “brown bag” review of all the medications you are taking, including over-the-counter drugs, vitamins and herbal supplements.  Also, take all the drugs that you have “saved because I might need them later” from your medicine cabinet with you. 

Throw away outdated drugs!  They lose their potency over time.  Some outdated antibiotics may even be toxic and cause death.  And for goodness sake, don’t keep eye drops!  They don’t have many preservatives and may begin to grow organisms.  Using them may potentially infect your eyes!  Now then…”What’s in YOUR medicine cabinet?”

Pat Summitt Raising Awareness about Alzheimer's

For many of us who are college sports fans, University of Tennessee women's basketball coach Pat Summitt's recent diagnosis of early-onset Dementia hit us like an opposing teams last-second 3-pointer that wins the NCAA Championship game.

As Magic Johnson did in the early 90's to raise awareness of HIV, she hopes her public battle with this form of dementia raises awareness about Alzheimer's and inspires people to do more.
 
For more, we 'd like to share this Nov. 5th, 2011 Washington Post article.


Photo Credit (Dave Martin, File/Associated Press) - FILE - In this Oct. 27, 2011 file photo, Tennessee women’s basketball coach Pat Summitt talks with reporters during Southeastern Conference Basketball Media day in Hoover, Ala. With her revelation in August that she’d been diagnosed with early-onset dementia, Alzheimer’s type, the 59-year-old has chosen to fight the disease publicly.